As mentioned before, I really would love to focus on my backlog in 2025 and try to get less distracted by all the shiny new releases. With this goal, I hope to both find some forgotten gems and drastically clean out my TBR as my reading preferences have changed overtime. One of these books in my backlog is Beautiful Mess by Claire Christian. This book was published in 2017 and added and bought by me in 2018. Fast forward to 2025 and I read close to no young adult books anymore, but I still wanted to give this novel a fair chance. Did I find a hidden gem or was it not for me anymore? This book contains triggers such as thoughts of and actual suicide, drug and alcohol use and abuse, sexual assault, self-harm. If you are sensitive to these topics, please carefully consider if this book will be wise to pick up.

About the book

Beautiful Mess by Claire Christian
Published by Text Publishing on August 28, 2017
Pages: 286
Genres: Contemporary, Young adult

Since Ava lost Kelly, things haven’t been going so well. Even before she gets thrown out of school for shouting at the principal, there’s the simmering rage and all the weird destructive choices. The only thing going right for Ava is her job at Magic Kebab.

Which is where she meets Gideon. Skinny, shy, anxious Gideon. A mad poet and collector of vinyl records with an aversion to social media. He lives in his head. She lives in her grief. The only people who can help them move on with their lives are each other.

My review

Before reading I was a bit nervous, or maybe hesitant is a better word for what I was feeling. A few years ago, I read It’s a Pleasure, Noni Blake, Christian’s adult novel. I had a strong dislike for this book, I skim read it and gave it a low rating in the end. I knew that Beautiful Mess was totally different, dealing with heavier topics and for a younger audience. The tone was more serious and emotional than the other book. However, I left it on the shelf for nearly seven years. Meanwhile, I grew older with a better understanding of what I do and don’t like in books. I am seeking novels with huge character growth and somehow, I expected this book to provide me with exactly this. On the other hand, wouldn’t this be to YA for my taste now?

We follow two main characters: Ava and Gideon. Both have dealt with a lot in their young live and they still have to deal with the corresponding trauma. Ava lost her best friend and is grieving. Gideon on the other hand has bad social anxiety and deals with depression, to the point of self-harm. When Ava and Gideon meet at work, a special bond between the two arise. They often don’t know how to behave around one another, but in the end, a special friendship blossoms. As Christian choses to switch POV nearly in every chapter, we get to know both characters well. The author focuses more on their trauma and their healing process. I believe this has been done well, although I absolutely am not the right person to judge any of the representation in this novel. If you would like to know more about this, I would definitely recommend looking for an own voices review by a reader who is able to judge the representation. Personally, I was struggling with Ava, but more with the glimpses of her and her best friend Kelly in the past. They didn’t seem like sympathetic characters to me, they seemed very closed-off and hardly letting anyone into their strong friendship. This honestly nearly made me put the book aside. However, Ava redeemed herself, because losing Kelly made her a whole different person.

This novel is not that long, with quite short chapters. The writing is accessible and easy to follow. However, it took me a while to finish this book and that’s not because of the writing. It has to do with intrigue, because I wasn’t really intrigued by the plot at first. This mainly had to do with Ava’s character. However, once the story progresses, I got sucked in and I wanted to witness more of both Ava’s and Gideon’s growth. They really compliment each other and it’s a great process to witness. This novel is character driven, something I prefer and works really well. The plot is here to support the characters in which Christian did a great job. This book has flown under the radar as far as I’m concerned and that’s quite unfortunate. The author addresses serious topics which provides the depth I’m seeking. This unavoidably comes with triggers, so please be careful if you’re sensitive to them. I’ve mentioned these in my introductory paragraph.

I’m glad I gave Beautiful Mess by Claire Christian a fair chance instead of letting this book gone to waste. It’s an older YA and although I had some starting troubles, I got intrigued by the characters, their special bond and the growth that comes with it. The writing is very accessible for such a trigger heavy and emotional novel. It is character driven and along with this depth and triggers, it’s exactly the kind of book I enjoy reading. Even though this is classified as a young adult novel, I didn’t mind this at all. This novel is suitable for readers who love character driven contemporary books and don’t mind serious and emotional baggage in their reading material. I can’t stress this enough, but please consider the triggers carefully before deciding whether to pick it up.